Not Wanting To Do What You Want To Do

It's a strange place, where you genuinely don't want to do, what you want to do.

Now you might say, "well that's confusing as all get out!"

Have you ever hoped or wanted to do something? Planned for it even, played it out in your head. Even fantasized what life will be like if you actually did, what you want to do?

But then, you never did it...

Perhaps you didn't allow yourself to do it...

Or perhaps you just got lazy and put it off, for years...

Or perhaps, taking that next step towards what you want requires you to do something scary...

Or perhaps you have to do something you are too proud to actually do, because it would mean you have to admit you made a mistake...

Or perhaps it will change your life in a good way, but not quite the way you WANT your life to be... Like it would put you into a spotlight. Or take you out of the spotlight. Or maybe it would put you front and center in front of lots of people. Or maybe it would reduce the attention you are getting. Or maybe it would put you in charge of much bigger things. Or perhaps you would have to let go of being in charge of something.

I mean, you know you CAN do it. And you know your life will be amazing and happy if you did it. But there's this roadblock in your way...

So you're coasting along. Not doing what you want to do. Not getting what you want, even though you think about it every day. Maybe you're even complaining that you aren't doing what you want to do, to yourself.

Which, side note, is exceptionally silly when you step back and think about it.

But I digress...

So you wake up 4 years later, and you're still coasting along. Not doing what you want to do. Knowing it would be great. But you just don't do it...

Maybe this doesn't make a lot of sense to you.

Maybe it makes too much sense to you.

So whatcha gonna do?